love shack

For those of you expecting a post a la "Fifty Shades of Grey," I apologize.  Although that woman has made a lot of money with her sordid accounts of sex and that single girl.  And I do have a lot of time on my hands...perhaps a Baby Boomer version..."Fifty Shades of Gray Hair."  What do you think?  If I ever were to write such a tome, believe you me, it would be LOADS better than the original.  And LOADS more realistic.

"Hey, you wanna?"
"Sure, why not?  I've got ten minutes before I have to take the foil off the casserole."

There you have it...brief, steamy and food at the end.

Back to the love shack...Ron and I commemorated our 34th wedding anniversary this weekend.  We commemorated it by me watching Ron sleep off his jet lag, having been in California all week, working 14 hour days.  We watched a little telly, went to the Farmer's Market, Ron went fishing, we both took naps.

Ok, we laid low because we're hitting the town this coming weekend with our friends, Randy and Kim, who got married exactly one week after we did in 1981.  No doubt it will be a night to remember (if I take notes.)

Ron and I often look at one another and say, "Did you ever think..."  We usually both shake our heads and act all mystified that we've been able to endure three plus decades.  I'm sure there were plenty of folks who were whispering at our wedding, "They'll be lucky to make it six months."

We met in an anthropology course at Westminster.  An 8 a.m., TTH 90 minute class, called Fossil Man.  It was easily the most boring and tedious class I've ever taken.  And I was a sociology major for the first three years of my class, so I know boring.

After class, we'd walk down the hill together, chatting, flirting.  Still, it took my roommate to set us up a year later before we actually went on a date.  After that first night, it was a whirlwind romance.  We got engaged in November, 1980 and got married the following August. I was the classic "went from my parent's house to the sorority house to my husband's house."

Neither one of us had had any independent living experience.  It was a rude awakening.  It took us several months before we realized that spending $25 every week at Wal-Mart was not smart financial planning.  Nor did we have any reliable family planning.

Thirteen months, to the day, after our wedding we were parents.  The first of many unexpected twists and turns in the Martinhouse saga.  It's a miracle that Kate can walk and talk and has all of her limbs.  We had no idea what we were doing.

Our first house was a trailer.  The bedroom was so tiny that we had to take the door off because it wouldn't shut with our double bed in it.  So we resorted to opening the bathroom door halfway; the door was the exact width of the hallway.

We went back to see it a couple of years ago and drove right by it twice before we recognized it.  It gave us great pause.  Looking back, I can't believe we lived there.  Looking forward, I can't believe we came from that to where we are now.

We've obviously had our share of challenges and conflict...emotional, relational, financial.  The first ten years were a struggle, the next ten were challenging on many fronts and the last ten have still provided us with plenty of opportunities to throw our hands in the air.  But, in the end, we still share a deep, abiding love for one another.

And the realization that, honestly, who else would have either one of us?  We've both got quirks and damaged parts.  Neither one of us would have a very good profile on match.com.

So what if our love shack isn't as hoppin' as it used to be?  I treasure the worn-out, lived-in, broken in jeans kind of feeling we have.  We've been through a bit of the refiner's fire and we're not perfect.

We're mellowed.  And we'll just keep getting better and better every year.

At least that's the plan.