Beware the Nit Pickers

This is the email I just sent to Apria Healthcare... 

I just spent an hour and a half on the phone with five different representatives trying to get to the bottom of a billing issue, which even now I'm not sure has been properly resolved. 

It started with a phone call from a collection agency for a bill of $14.94.  "Wait a minute," I thought. "I paid that."

So I called the fine folks at the Apria "help" center. 

This was the fourth or fifth attempt my husband and I have tried to get this straightened out over the last five months.  I can't begin to calculate the number of hours we have spent trying to resolve an issue that's less than $15.  We have been Apria clients for well over ten years.  While the products we've purchased and used have been great, the customer service is, without doubt, the worst we have ever encountered.

At the end of the last conversation I had with an Apria representative (probably in November), I asked them to send me a bill for $14.94 and I would gladly pay it.  Which they did and I did.  I thought the matter was over.  After all, I hadn't received another bill from them.  How was I to know it would end up in the Nit Pick Department? (More on that later).  

Today I spoke to five representatives.  Each one told me a different story.

The first person told me I had an account overage of $14.94. 

The second one (Janet) said my money was tied up in the Nit Pick Department.  The what department?  THE most unprofessional term I've heard in a long time.  She couldn't tell me why it was in the Nit Pick Department, but said she couldn't do a thing until it was finished in the Nit Pick Department.  When I told her I was looking at the cancelled check (on my computer screen) I'd sent last month she wanted me to send me a copy of it to her.  Clearly, Apria had received it because, again, I was looking at the cancelled check. In my opinion, it's not my fault that the check was lost (or tied up in limbo in the Nit Pick Department - again, really?); therefore, I should not have to prove that the invoice was paid.  Also, if my money is in the Nit Pick Department being haggled over, or whatever it is they do in the Nit Pick Department, why was it turned over to collection?  It's there, in the Nit Pick Department.  Quit nit picking and use the money to settle my account.

The third person (a supervisor named Taylor) bore the brunt of my frustration.  She tried to back peddle the whole Nit Pick Department thing.  In my mind I was thinking, "I could bring down the whole company by letting the world know there's such a thing as a Nit Pick Department at Apria."  But then I decided I'd wasted enough time on you guys. (OK, I lied.)

Taylor finally - after at least a half hour of not being able to answer my concerns in a satisfying manner - offered to write off the balance.  She also told me that our insurance company hadn't paid our last claim at 100%, which I told her was strange, given the fact that they had been doing since April, when we met our out-of-pocket deductible.  

I told her I'd check on our insurance website.  Sure enough, the information on the website indicates that they paid the claim in full.

So...I guess I'm a glutton for punishment.  I called Apria back and - silly me - asked to speak to Taylor.  Oh, that's not possible, I was told.  I'm guessing Taylor wasn't even in the same building/state/country.  I told the representative that our insurance is on record for paying the claim in full.  She said they only received a portion of it.  Dear God in heaven!  Did it end up in the Nit Pick Department again?

As I was navigating through the insurance website I noticed that for three months in a row (probably longer) our insurance had been billed for fairly large amounts.  I asked the representative what those charges were for and she couldn't tell me.  That was the fourth person.

The last person I talked to was able to answer my questions and said she saw the check for $14.94 and that she'd credit my account and everything would be at zero.  I didn't have the strength to tell her that Taylor had already credited our account.  We'll just leave that up to the Nit Pickers.

The one good thing that came out of this is that I learned that we officially own my husband's CPAP machine, so we will NEVER EVER have to use the services of Apria Health Care again.

And, if it ends up that we actually have a credit...give it to the Nit Pick Department.