sleeping with the enemy

I just chose a salacious title to get people to read this...hahaha.

While at times I may have had a brief notion that he (meaning Ron) might be the enemy on some fronts, sleeping with him is not one of those instances.  However, I can't tell you the last time we slept together (literally, not figuratively...that I could tell you, but I'm not going to).

Why, you ask, have you not enjoyed the comfort of that very expensive mattress you purchased just a few years ago?  Well, let me count the ways...

There's a cpap involved.  Designed to bring restorative, even sleep to the user, I think more research should be done to take into account the affect of the machine on any bedmates.  It's wheezy, it's loud and it's downright annoying.  Ron's tried countless different masks and mouthpieces, but unless he's in the exact perfect position, the hose gets kinked or it slips off his face and within seconds he's sawing logs with an un-oiled chainsaw.  I cannot handle the snoring. It's like fingernails on a chalkboard times a million.  Makes me wriggle in creepiness just thinking about it.

And once I wake up, I can't go back to sleep.

And I really like to sleep.

Then there's the succession of knee issues that have plagued us both.  I had my meniscus repaired last May, my knee replaced this February.  Ron had knee surgery last month.  So...we've been occupying different beds for over a year.

And I kind of miss it.

Left to our own devices, we now have certain idiosyncrasies with our evening ritual.  Ron, piles all the pillows in the middle of the queen sized bed and sprawls out.  He's in bed by 9 every night since he gets up around 4 or 4:30.  If he wakes up early he watches Family Feud with Steve Harvey.

That's minor compared to what I do.  I used to read on my iPad when we were still sleeping in one bed, so I got into the habit of pulling the covers up over my head so the light wouldn't bother Ron...I also did it because in the winter I was cold.  Now, it's a signal to my body to start winding and shutting down.  I feel like I'm a vampire retreating to its coffin.

I also have a snack of rice cakes and a piece of chocolate while I play Trivia Crack, do a NYTimes Crossword, play spider solitaire and do one last Face Book perusal. Oh, and I put on ice on my knee for a half hour.  The whole thing is about an hour long process.  I then take my first round of sleepers and usually sleep until around 3:00.  At that early hour, I do my daily Elevate brain game, play some more solitaire and take my second round of sleepers.  I have to be very careful not to wake up my brain too much or even the sleepers won't help.

I am a creature of habit.  It take comfort in the routine-ness of it all.

However, we've been talking for quite a while about getting twin beds a la Lucy and Ricky/Laura and Rob.  I told Ron the other day that before we make that investment we really ought to see if we can actually sleep together again...a thought that creates not an insignificant amount of anxiety on my part.

So, tonight's the inaugural run.  I'll let you know how it goes.  Pray that the cpap and I can both be quiet as a mouse...

I'm betting I'll make half the night...but it's a start, right?