Guess who went up and down thirteen stairs yesterday? That would be me! Zipped down and up like 'twarnt no big thing. It will be awhile before I'm at my pre-surgery gait, but I am moving.
This was my "personal best" in terms of the length of my hospital stay. I don't do well in hospitals. I want all the creature comforts of home...my fan, my snacks and my schedule. Of those things I just mentioned, the only thing that came close was a schedule. A schedule. Not my schedule.
I really can't complain, but because it's in my nature...the room was nice, part of a newly constructed wing of the hospital. The furniture smelled new. But - and you know it's true - you can put all the lipstick in Elizabeth Arden's arsenal on a smelly old pig but it's still a smelly old pig. New paint and shiny floors can't hide the fact that you're in a semi-prison facility. Most folks really don't want to be there...you can see it in their eyes...a cold, flat, desperate look that says, "If I had two good legs, man, I'd be so outta here."
The nursing staff, as a whole, was decent. I had the same night nurse for three days and I think she slept through the classes on "Listening to your patient" and "Anesthesia-Induced Humor Appreciation."
I don't trust anyone who doesn't think I'm funny. And although I don't have a firm grasp on what comedic gems I chose to share my first post-op night, I'm pretty sure I was killing. Every time I said something amusing I was met with blank stares. Unnerving.
Is it possible that I was really just slurring something stupid? Absolutely.
Does that give Nurse Never Smile a pass? Absolutely NOT!
One of the worst things I encountered post-op were these uncontrollable tremors. They'd start out innocently enough...just a shiver. Within a few seconds, though, my whole body would be shaking, teeth chattering like a mouse. It was awful. Gives me a shiver just thinking about it.
Thursday night I was awake waiting for my pain meds and I looked at the whiteboard that had all kinds of info on it, including my daily goals. One of my goals was to "stop shivering."
Not get my knee to bend or any other PT-related goal. That's how bad it was.
Next time...the ride home
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