of wisdom lost

From August, 2008

As your kids grow up, the rites of passage become more and more spread out.  On Wednesday, Tyler completed his final rite as a teen (hoping and praying)...he got his wisdom teeth surgically removed.

The last time Tyler went under anesthesia he was about nine months old.  He had to have his tear ducts drilled.  Show of hands...anyone?  Did you know that was even possible...or necessary?

I was a basket case when they took him away behind those cold metal doors.

This time I barely looked up from the "Entertainment Weekly" I was reading.

"What?  Oh yeah.  See ya later."

In less than an hour, I was called back to see my wounded baby.  All I can say is that he was NOT wearing a cute little Children's Mercy Hospital t-shirt.  Here was this big ole' guy, barely holding onto a recliner, head thrown back with a slack jaw.  I rubbed his hair and his eyes rolled around and finally attempted to focus on me.  For about a split second.  Then he was gone again.

A nurse came in and asked me if I thought he'd want the teeth, the ones formerly housed in his mouth.

Tyler sat up halfway, eyes WIDE open and he said, "YETH."  Then he was out again.

I thought it was hysterical.  The nurse acted rather bored by the whole thing.  Perhaps she's seen worse...or funnier.

I finally got Tyler home - after telling him eighteen times that we were NOT going to stop at Ahnic (Sonic) because he could not have carbonated drinks.  Each time he screwed up his face (which was also funny because he couldn't really move his muscles all that well) like he was going to cry and said, "Wha?"

I had about a million wrecks because I couldn't understand him at all unless I looked at him while he was talking.  Which is really not advisable when you're driving on the highway at a high rate of speed (unless you're Ron Martin and then it's practically a requirement - driving at high speeds while not looking at the road, I mean).

After his initial day of being zombied out, Ron and I had to practically hogtie him to make him stay home and recuperate.

Tyler kept giving us the whole "It's my last week at home before school starts.  I have SO MUCH to do."  I told him it wasn't my fault he grew four wisdom teeth and had to have them surgically removed.  I told him I'd only had TWO wisdom teeth.

To which he replied, "Well, that explains A LOT."